I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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