I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
time to smoke my breakfast
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
