How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
