i love accidental penises.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
