So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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