I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
