I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize