I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
