Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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