Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
