Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
