ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
