So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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