So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
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Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
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Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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