the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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