pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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