there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
