I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
