I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
why do cheetos always look like penises
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
