Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
