Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He better not be in your backpack
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
