just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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