pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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