Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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