I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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