OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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