I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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