So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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