yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
