omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize