i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
