i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
