i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
