She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So apparently I’m into choking now
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
