Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
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Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
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so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize