is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I am mentally ready for anal.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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