Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
