Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He felt like a one man threesome
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
