just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
