we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
