Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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