how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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