I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
