Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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