Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize