i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
