Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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