Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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