I think i peed on brittanys purse
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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