yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
