I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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