I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
