I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
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