so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
