Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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