Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
