My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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