thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Randomize
