you're like a bully in the Christmas story
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
