if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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