never play flip cup with pint glasses
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
