If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
