He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize