Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
