He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
