ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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