my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
